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Power To The Playful
Are The Sisters Happy?
by JoLaine Jones
A friend recently returned from a trip to Brazil. I was fascinated by her stories of the culture, the food and all the great fun she had. One thing that really stood out for her was the comfort that the Brazilians had with their bodies. They did not hesitate, young or old, fat or thin, to strut their stuff! She tells the story of an 80-year-old woman who opened her blouse to brag on her gorgeous breasts!
My friend was privileged to go to an end-of-school talent show where all the children, ages 5-18, performed for friends and family. She was amazed that not a single child was shy and embarrassed. Every child was confident in his or her worthiness of the thunderous applause that roared from the audience for every performance.
Upon returning to the states, my friend went to a store and tried on a dress she was interested in. She asked the sales clerk (who was Latina) her opinion of the dress. The woman smiled and asked, "Are the sisters happy?" My friend, confused, asked what she meant. The woman cupped her hands under her breasts with a grin and said, "The sisters! Are they happy?!"
What a wonderful way to judge whether or not a garment is right for you! Is your body happy in it? How often do you buy a garment because you think it will make you look thinner, or because it is on sale, or because it’s the style that the fashion magazines are touting right now?
I hear women saying that they open their closet, which is crammed to overflowing with clothes, and stand there thinking, “I have nothing to wear.” We fill out closets with clothes that we think will make us look better, but don’t seem to make us feel better.
When you were a child, did you have a garment that you totally loved? I remember with fondness a pair of green corduroy pants, a dress that was given to me when my cousin outgrew it, and my cowgirl boots. I wore these garments as often as I could get away with it. I didn’t care if they “matched” or were “appropriate” for where I was going. I just loved them. People still hugged me and told me how adorable I was.
This was before I absorbed the messages about clothes that our culture creates:
- If you’re a good girl, your clothes do not draw attention to you.
- The only reason to draw attention should be to attract a husband (this was in the ‘60s
so the only thing I was allowed to attract was a husband).
- Your clothes should be “in style” - which meant, “just like everyone else was wearing.”
Clothes became a source of stress. I judged them by whether or not I thought they made me look thinner, or camouflaged my breasts, or any of the other ten things I was self-conscious about. I remember standing in front of a closet full of clothes and not liking any of them. But the truth is that I didn’t like the body that was going to wear those clothes.
It’s impossible to love your clothes if you hate the body inside of them. That being said, a wonderful step towards loving your body is to buy it clothes it loves.
Try this - try on some of your clothes in a room without a mirror. With no regard to how you look, ask yourself how you feel. What do you want to do with the clothes that don't feel wonderful? If you have clothes in your closet that are too small, why are you holding on to them? Are you hoping that someday your body will be “acceptable” and you’ll be able to wear these clothes again? Those clothes are simply a reminder that your body is not the one you want. It’s like saying to your inner child – “one day when you’re beautiful, you’ll get to wear really great clothes!” What a hurtful thing to say to a child, and what a hurtful message to send to yourself.
How would your life be different if you made a commitment to only wear clothes that your body loves! Clothes that fit, are comfortable, are pleasing colors, textures, and fabrics - clothes that you love so much that you can't wait to wear them. Don’t wait to love yourself until you’re “acceptable.” You are perfect just as you are!
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